The Australian government has revealed plans to eliminate large populations of carp from its waters, citing the fish as being an invasive and destructive species. Rather than approach the problem using conventional methods, however, lawmakers are eyeing the possibility of encouraging an underwater orgy.

Should the scheme be put into effect, a total of fifteen million Australian dollars will be spent on infecting the carp with herpes, citing the hope that the virus will spread and cull the finned barbarians.

While leading experts agree that intentionally defiling aquatic swingers will have the desired result, there remains the question of what to do with the quote-unquote harvest. One suggestion involves packaging and selling filets to consumers, although the viability of that approach has yet to be determined.

Still, how do viewers feel? Do you support the conscious befouling of deep-water debauchery? Would you eat carp that had died of an STD? If so, how would you season and prepare it? Let us know in the comments, and remember, if you spot a story that’s strange, absurd, or a little bit weird, be sure to less us know.

For the moment, calculating congresspeople consider conceiving carp-crippling carnality.